SIMPLE MOTIVES FOR USING INEFFECTIVE ANGER STYLES
There are some payoffs to using ineffective anger styles. Consider some of these things we may tell ourselves and make a check next to the reasons you have told yourself.
Ì I get to be right and make the other person wrong.
Ì I get to feel superior.
Ì I’ll prove it’s unfair or untrue.
Ì It feels safe and familiar to hold on to old patterns, and scary to let them go.
Ì Telling myself that I will be different will force me to change my behavior.
Ì I get sympathy from other people who act the same way.
Ì I feel alive when I get angry. I like my adrenalin rush.
Ì If I get angry enough, they may do what I want.
Ì They’ll make it up to me because they’ll see how upset I am, and they’ll feel ashamed or guilty.
Ì If I am upset, I will have an excuse for poor performance, drinking, spending, eating…, etc.
Ì I want them to feel as miserable, sad, inadequate, shamed, etc., as I feel.
Ì I need my anger to feel okay about standing up for myself.
And in him you too are being built
together to become a dwelling in which
God lives by his Spirit.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Webmaster: Canyon Country Online, LLC
hosting@canyon-country.com
Cornerstone Christian Counseling, Inc.
7660 East Broadway Boulevard
Suite 207
Tucson, AZ 85710
info@cornerstonechristiancounseling.org
Andrea A. Russell, Ph.D
Arizona Licensed Psychotherapist
